Ah Herro there! I am Blu, but you may call me... Blu. This here blog is my little haven from the nutty and slightly scary world where I ramble about all things identity related.
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Ok, people. You all need to go and check out the EqualityJA videos. *THAT* is how you do euqality videos; by representing not just the L or the G but the B and the T too.
I am so proud.
GO EqualityJA.
I wish these things were around when I was growing up.
I feel so jealous of people who can argue with homophobes. I literally just get so angry I either end up crying or my mind just totally blanks out and I freeze.
I wanna be able to make totally infallible arguments that just blow them away and make them feel like total idiots.
It makes me feel kind less valid as a queer person that I can’t “back up” my “lifestyle” Do you know what I mean?
I find it kind of irritating how it is accepted as perfectly ok for heterosexual people to look at a queer person and remark “what a waste” (insinuating that it’s less than ok to be anything other than heterosexual), but if a queer person looked at a heterosexual and said the same thing it would be because we are trying to turn them and we are forcing our sexuality or lifestyle choices, as I so often hear it called, down their throats.
One of the most common FAQs I get is people asking for advice on figuring out their identity. The question looks something like this:
I dress X and feel Y and people think I’m Z but they tell me I can’t be A because of B. What am I / How do I know if I am genderqueer / trans / androgynous / ftm / neutrois / agender / gender-fluid / butch / a snuffleafaugus?There is no one way to know, or one moment where it all becomes clear. Little by little you keep exploring your outsides and your insides, until you realize slowly that you might be this, and then more slowly you realize perhaps you might be that, and then one day you just know.
I’ve gone back and tagged all the posts that fall into this category, so you can browse them with the “identity” tag here.
Here’s a list of related posts:
- A little about my process of discovering my identity
- General Advice for Figuring Out Your Gender Identity and Transition Path from Art of Transliness
- Thoughts on their evolving Gender Identity from Butch in the South
- What is Genderqueer? From GQID
- A list of identities and concepts under the Genderqueer and/or Trans* umbrella. From GQID
- On Neutrois… from me
I’ll update this list as necessary. Feel free to suggest additional links as well.
I really do try to not get into arguments with people but there are some times when I just cannot control myself.
Today on the fitness forum I joined this person was arguing about why same sex couples shouldn’t have kids because the same gender child will suffer. I couldn’t help it. I knew that was my queue to exit but I didn’t - I told them that that is absolute bollocks and now I am in the middle of a fucking shit storm.
Why do people pretend that hetro relationships are perfect?! Seriously! I have more mental illnesses than the fucking DSM and I was raised in a “perfect” family with a mum and a dad.
I just… I can’t with people today.
So I was thinking about what it was like when I first went to a gay club and actively started going out on our local scene. It felt like there was a hierarchy something like this:
-the drag queens
-the flamboyant scene queen gay men
-their straight “fag hags” in the tiniest skirts imagineable to human kind
-the super butch lesbians & their super femme partners
-the other gay men
-the lesbians who “look lesbian” (the spikey hair, plaid shirts & supersdry coats)
-the trans men
-the straight girls
-the trans women
-the straight couples
-the “bar-sexual” women ( and the bisexual women & the “straight looking lesbians” who get lumped in together)
-the straight men who act like if they don’t lean against a wall they’ll get buttfucked but still go to a gay club anyway
-the empty bottles chucked around the place
-the dust on the floor
-ME!
We were at my partner’s nan’s house and her little cousins (6 & 7) were there. She leant over me and kissed me on the cheek and her little cousin (7) said euuughh are you gay or something and she said yes etc and he just went “that means your gay then. Eww gross.”
Really made me feel… off. I mean his parents are not homophobic at all, and the family are brilliant, but his comment has been ringing around my head ever since. What does a 7 year old know about relationships to form an opinion that the 2 girls (do I even bother to explain my gender to him?! he’d probably die!) being together was gross?
When did we get to a point in society where every compliment you pay to someone is a thinly veiled attempt to have sex with them?! You don’t hear me saying “no hetero” every time I get a boner over Chris Hemsworth as Thor.
It irritates me. It’s the same as people assuming that if you’re gay/lesbian then you MUST be attracted to them. Because you know, I’m queer as quack and therefore I’m attracted to every single female identifying and genderqueer person in the world because I am as queer as quack. Lets all have a massive gangbang now please.
Jade Ellis, a contestant on UK X Factor is a lesbian. I know… totally irrelevant in a singing competition, but the papers still seem totally amazed by the fact someone can be gay.
This was the headline in The Daily Mirror:
Why is that news?! More to the point is it just me, or does “gay lover” sound totally invalidating of their relationship?! It’s her partner - they’ve been together for like 6+ years, it’s not just a fucking “lover” that she shags and leaves.
I dunno, I find it so irritating, so invalidating and so fucking stupid that the fact she is raising a daughter is worthy of the news… why?! So are loads of other people. eugh…
